Greg Oden, Portland’s favorite “big man,” apparently took some racy pictures with his cell phone and then sent them via SMS to… someone. Naturally, they ended up online.
When Oden had a presser later to come clean and, uh, “open the kimono” about the affair, he downplayed the sexting situation.
“I took those pictures a year and a half ago. I’ve grown a lot since then.”
BADA-BOOM!
A young reporter, seemingly trying to avoid participation in such a crass circus, asked, “For the team, how big of a distraction is this?”
“About 10 inches,” everyone whispered under their breath.
BADA-BING!
Just to hammer the joke home, from the musical Dr. Horrible’s Sing-along Blog: “The hammer is my penis.” Or in this case, Oden’s.
Hee. Good friend and overexplainer of jokes, Christina posted a good pie chart about how a, um, “friend” spend his/her time on the job. Try not to get yourself Dooced, kiddo.
10: Buses that are early.
9: Buses that are late.
8: Buses that are on time when I’m late.
7: Was it always this cold waiting at the bus stop?
6: Hat head.
5: That giant puddle everyone keeps driving through.
4: The sweet smell of Eau d’ Hobo.
3: Lots more quality time with the Facebook app on my iPhone.
2: During the summer, sweating profusely in the bus seat, just like whoever sat here before me.
1: Crowded bus stops, or as they’re known in pan-handler parlance: a good place to barf.
TP texts: text messages, emails, tweets, and Facebook updates sent from your iPhone while you’re on the pot in the bathroom.
Example 1:
“Quit TP texting and get out of the bathroom! I need to get ready for work!”
Example 2:
“Ugh. Dude. Did you just TP text that tweet? That’s nasty. I gotta go decontaminate my keyboard. Does Norton Antivirus catch staphylococcus and rotavirus?”
Example 3:
“If my girl ever finds out our sexy texting is actually TP texting, I’m a dead man.”
Example 4:
“TP texting is plain wrong. For the same reason you don’t touch the magazines in someone else’s bathroom. It might be perfectly clean, but I don’t know that. Plus I can’t ever wash away the mental image of you thumbing one-handed. *shudder*.”
As I mentioned before, I work at an interactive marketing agency. Our newly trademarked tagline is “Lead with Interactive.” And on the new site, there’s this terrible video of me (and soon, others) explaining what Lead with Interactive means to them. Why I seem unable to speak and squint at the same time is a mystery to me. Thinking appears to be physically painful. Ugh.
Anyway, the launch of our new website and the tagline coincided with our Halloween party, so I shot a second spoof video to share with the team.
Warning: Language at the end gets a little NSFW. Because nothing’s funnier than the F-bomb.
I work at an interactive advertising agency, and we recently relaunched our website. Part of the site included what we called “inspirational images.” One such image was of the Large Hadron Collider.
A day before the launch, Dave found a typo where the “r” and the “d” were transposed in the word “Hadron.” And there was much giggling.
mass media, pop culture | thom | 
January 27, 2010 8:07 am | 
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