Oden’s Junk

Greg Oden, Portland’s favorite “big man,” apparently took some racy pictures with his cell phone and then sent them via SMS to… someone. Naturally, they ended up online.

When Oden had a presser later to come clean and, uh, “open the kimono” about the affair, he downplayed the sexting situation.

“I took those pictures a year and a half ago. I’ve grown a lot since then.”

BADA-BOOM!

A young reporter, seemingly trying to avoid participation in such a crass circus, asked, “For the team, how big of a distraction is this?”

“About 10 inches,” everyone whispered under their breath.

BADA-BING!

Just to hammer the joke home, from the musical Dr. Horrible’s Sing-along Blog: “The hammer is my penis.” Or in this case, Oden’s.

Letterman Apologizes To Palin

In Letterman’s brilliant apology to Palin for a misunderstanding over a joke he told, he states, “And as they say about jokes. If you have to explain the joke, it isn’t a very good joke.”

He’s Anti-Christmas. He’s Anti-Family.

Jim Gaffigan is hilarious.  One of his signature “moves” is to voice the comments of shocked audience members during his set after each jokes.

Workin’ Nine to Five

Hee. Good friend and overexplainer of jokes, Christina posted a good pie chart about how a, um, “friend” spend his/her time on the job. Try not to get yourself Dooced, kiddo.

Why Jokes About Cancer and Rapists Are Not Funny

Explanation of Why the Downfall Meme is So Funny (to German Speaking People)

If you’ve enjoyed the Downfall Meme videos like the ones about the Xbox, the Hillary Campaign, and the World of Warcraft, then you probably speak English.  For German speaking viewers, the joke is a bit lost.  Well, this variation explains why these videos are so funny to all you German speaking people.  (caution, some subtitles use adult language)

The Joke Assassin

In high school, we had a friend we nicknamed “the Joke Assassin.” I’m sure everyone knows someone like this, that guy who can’t help but explain and repeat every joke until it’s not funny anymore. With this guy, it was funny sayings and quotes. Simpsons stuff, for the most part.

He would end every sentence with “In-deedly-doodly!” until we begged him to stop.

He would refer to another friend’s saxaphone as a “sax-a-ma-phone” every time he saw it.

You get the idea.

By calling this guy “the Joke Assassin,” we were hoping he would pick up on our not-so-subtle message that he needed to cut it out. But we underestimated his dedication to his craft. He managed to turn the tables on us, killing the joke in his own nickname until we couldn’t use it anymore.

“That’s right, I’m the Joke Assassin! Haha! I kill jokes dead! Don’t let me hear your jokes, because I’ll murder ‘em! In the night! With extreme prejudice! Get it?”

He was a diabolical genius, in his own way.